


Black Sails Christmas Challenge

by FarahBobbi



Category: Black Sails
Genre: Christmas Crack, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-14 22:16:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16921434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FarahBobbi/pseuds/FarahBobbi
Summary: My first crack fic. I am not native English speaker, so please forgive my English. I hope you all like this. Happy Holiday, matey!





	Black Sails Christmas Challenge

_Jingle bells, jingle bells_

_Jingle all the way!_

_Oh look at this sketchy witchy girl_

_what fun it is to ride in a pirate ship_

_Alone with herself, away from Constantinople with her owls_

_And met murderous ginger pirate captain and his quartermaster_

_Ding Dong the witch has fallen in love!_

_Ding Dong the Old God are happy!_

_Make a baby (cough love cough) for them, they said!_

_Thou shall blessed with prosperity and immortality!_

 

_Jingle bells, jingle bells_

_Jingle all the way!_

_Oh, what fun it is to ride in a pirate ship, full of dirty pirates!_

_Well some crew are hot as the sun_

_It ain’t so bad!_

_Billy Bones and his the biceps! What a cinnamon!_

_With his blonde lover Ben Gunn and his cheese!_

_Mr. DeGroot the great Ship Master_

_Joji the silent samurai, (uh oh he doesn’t speak!)_

_Dr Howell and his medic books_

_Dooley the idiot hunks_

_Muldoon and Logan the dumb and dumber_

_Hal Gates with cunning brain_

_Randall and his Betsy the cat!_

 

_Fearful ginger sexy pirate Captain Flint_

_With his beautiful ponytail and his faithful quartermaster slash his lover_

_John Silver, that is his name_

_Oh my, what a prettiest pirates ever in Nassau!_

_Curls, curls, curls and blue sea eyes_

_A liar, terrible cook but still adorable puppy!_

_No wonder Captain never let him go_

 

_The witch are in love!_

_So they are._

_Witchy or not, she is their mother hen and anchor!_

_Polyamorous ain’t so bad._

_Two husband and one wife, why not!_

_Old Gods cheers!_

_She finally found her true love_

_Much better that asshole syeikh from Constantinople_

 

_Dashing through the rough sea_

_With her lovers and best crews_

_Over the sea we go_

_Raid every town and ships_

_Stole every precious cargo_

_Full of spices and coins!_

_Throw asshole into the sea full of sharks!_

_Burn down their ship and let them sank to the bottoms!_

_Only if they are bad, bad pirates!_

_As long as you stay away from Captain Jack Sparrow_

_If you ever meet him, call Elizabeth Swan!_

 

_Jingle bells, jingle bells,_

_The pirates are laughing all the way_

_Bells on bob-tail ring_

_Making spirits bright as star_

_What fun it is to ride and steal every treasures tonight!_

_Hi ho! The Walrus are coming!_

_To steal every your women and men’s heart_

_Steal your sacred treasure_

_Jingle bell, jingle bell_

_Jingle all the way!_

 

_Nassau, we are coming home!_

 

_The End - wait!_

 

_“Hey Jack.”_

_“Yeah?”_

_“Why we don’t have these like them?”_

_“Because darling, do you remember that day when I told you about this? You will kill me if I push this idea.”_

_“Yeah, right. It’s fucking hideous.”_

_“I’d love to do this.’_

_“Seriously, Chaz?”_

_“If my abs can win her heart, why not?”_

_“What about Eleanor?”_

_“Well, I can ask that sketchy girl to do magic on her.”_

_“Or rob her mansion and took away Rogers manhood.”_

_“Jesus Christ, Anne.”_

_“I agree with this.”_

_“Really, Featherstone?”_

_“As long as my wife Idelle loves some jewels. And.. you can take his mansion too.”_

_“Not a bad deal.”_

_“Shall we?”_

_“We should light up the fire at fort.”_

_“Let’s go. I can see them afar!”_

_“Wait, Chaz! Wait, Anne!”_

_  
_ _"Ye better hurry up! Benjamin is sleeping and we ain’t got time!”_

_“Aye, aye my love!”_

 

_All of them ran together to the fort. Let’s pray his fucking chair are safe from these Rangers. Not that chair._

_The end!_

**Author's Note:**

> In case you are wondering who is sketchy witch girl, that is me lol.


End file.
